Last night sucked. I went down to my favorite strip club, wanting to dance and make some extra cash, and I left feeling bad. About my butt.

So, the night started as usual, and about halfway through, I was up on stage. I was dancing, looking sexy, feeling sexy and making money. What happened next, though, sucked.

I Was So Confused...

There I was, shaking my badonkadonk, when this short, squat little guy -- let's call him SS -- walked up to my stage. He leans in and beckons me over to him, so I make my way over and say hi. He tells me that I need to come see him in the manager's office after I'm off stage.

By now, I'm confused. I know the club's manager, the SS guy isn't him. This guy just looks evil, hence his nickname. I start to get worried. What if something happened to the manager? Is he okay? Is something wrong? Anyway, I wrap up my set, TURN DOWN A LAP DANCE, and go to the manager's office.

When I get to the manager's office, the SS guy is behind his desk, looking at me with his eyebrows raised. As I shake his hand and introduce myself, his nasal voice cuts me off and he demands to know when I was hired. I inform him that it was some time ago, to which he replies "Ahhh, *that* explains it..." We talk a bit and it turns out that he thinks my butt is too jiggly to work in the club. He said that he was tasked with the manager's duties of quality control while the manager is away, and he then tells me that he doesn't want to see me back in the club until the manager is back in two weeks. And he advises me to work on my behind in those weeks if I don't want to get fired...... I stormed out, came home and cried.

I Work Too Damn Hard To Be Sexy

I'm like any girl, I have body issues too. I mean, I work damn hard to be sexy, but I just got told my butt is too big to work at a club. I KNOW that the manager will say otherwise, but that awful SS guy really hurt my feelings. I stayed up all night looking at butts. Butt workouts. Big butts. Bubble butts. Little butts. I looked at so many that I started to hate my butt.

Then, I found THIS VIDEO.

Yeah. That's how I feel right now. I spend all night thinking about my butt, thinking about how to exercise my butt, thinking about how my butt really isn't as great all of the butts on Google. ALL. NIGHT. All because of one mean SS guy. Then, I just stopped looking at butts.

That video says it all. If you don't feel good about your butt, just learn to love your butt. My butt is pretty nice. It's at the top of sexy, smooth legs. It's round. It looks great according to my clients. It jiggles, yes, but that's okay. Butts jiggle... That's kind of what they do.

I seriously listened to that video about five times before I decided to accept my butt. I'm going to stay out of strip clubs, spend time with clients and maybe go jeans shopping. I'll buy some jeans that make my butt look amazing. I'll get a tan and enjoy how my butt looks when it's all golden. I'll love my butt, nourish my butt, and just feel good about my butt for the coming weeks.

When my ridiculous, SS-ordered butt-interview rolls around, I'll strut my butt into my manager's office, and listen proudly as the manager tells me he likes my butt and that the SS is lame. There's no sense in hating my butt since I'm pretty sure that's exactly how it'll go. It's just... I don't know. It hurts to be told your butt is too jiggly. To be thrown out on your a$$ because of it. Bleh.

Stupid SS. I love my butt. My Vegas escort girl butt.